tragic optimism

Hello dearest blog!

Did y’all know I greet my journals the same as I would a blog? I like to think of it as saying hi to my future self reading the entries.

Anyways, hi hi!

It’s the weekend, Sunday to be exact.

I’ve had a very relaxed weekend.

I had fallen SICK on Thursday and it manifested fully on Friday into this weekend.

So I unfortunately decided to cancel all streams in favor of letting myself rest.

It’s not unfortunate to let myself rest, just unfortunate that I missed out on a chance to hang out and have a lil fun this weekend.

But hey, I’m already feeling better after lots of rest and copious napping and lavender vaporub, so it obviously worked.

And I can come back refreshed this next weekend 🙂

Something exciting happened today!

I finally found the name to my worldview, tragic optimism.

I had found it thanks to a youtuber I had seen before but for her skating content, Dasia Sade.

It was a lovely video on not giving up even though the world seems like it’s going to shit.

INSTANTLY subscribed like I should have done before. I’ve seen her videos in my recommended before but I’m not too good at getting around to videos I want to watch a lot of the time.

And then I moved on to her next video, going more in depth about tragic optimism and how it’s important in our current society.

I know this one is a longer watch but I promise it’s so worth it!

But I loved hearing my view of life and the world echoed through this sentiment of tragic optimism. I usually just called it optimism above all or hope above all.

But there’s a real term for it!

Tragic optimism is the mindset that you can still find meaning amongst the suffering.

You don’t have to shove down the reality of that suffering like in toxic positivity, but instead hold space for it and acknowledge it.

And still even with that suffering you find meaning and joy in life because nothin is permanent and life is what you make of it.

I feel like I touched on these concepts in my post about grief and hope on this blog.

And that makes me so happy, knowing I was already participating in such a beautiful worldview that I agree with without knowing it.

The second video I linked also helped me reframe my views on rest.

As I touched on in my post about therapy, I have a hard time believing I am deserving of rest.

This is largely attributed to trauma from my past, but also a symptom of society as a whole.

We (Americans) do not view rest as inherently necessary. It’s a reward, something you do only after you’ve done something worthy of it.

And so resting is not only self care, but an act of rebellion against the system that demands our productivity above our wellbeing.

I like that way of thinking about rest. It makes it feel all the more important.

I don’t need to earn it like society enforces. I am inherently worthy of rest and should practice it whenever I feel it’s necessary.

And I feel like I did a good job of that this weekend!

I canceled streams and made no plans and just let myself rest and sleep as I needed. This resulted in like two naps a day this weekend but hey, if my body needed it then who am I to deny it.

It’s very hard for me to allow myself naps without feeling like I’ve “wasted” time.

That time isn’t wasted, it was spent nourishing my body and allowing myself to recharge. That is so important.

We really can have such deep programming inside of us that come from the toxic values of our society.

The more we can reject these notions and fight against them the better.

So even in the act of rest you are actively defying the ideals of our society, and I love that.

Through love and kindness you can rebel.

And again, with tragic optimism, love and kindness are so important !!! people are so important !!!! your life is so important !!!!!!!

Nothing matters and therefore everything matters. Nothing has meaning and therefore everything has meaning.

Life is what you make of it.

And I for one will not fall into the easy trap of nihilism or despair.

I will actively choose the harder route of maintaining hope and love no matter what happens.

Because I wouldn’t be here without it.

I owe everything in my life up to this point to tragic optimism.

Because it is what has allowed me to endure the hardest times in my life and still carry on to feel the better days that were ahead.

I love that about myself. I love that I am hopeful. I love that I am resilient.

I am strong in so many ways and it’s something I really should acknowledge more.

I have been through so much and come out the other side every single time.

That’s something to celebrate.

And I sincerely hope that you celebrate that within yourself as well.

Celebrate your strength! Celebrate how far you’ve come!

I also just love mindfulness coming into play in all this.

Embracing the present moment because it is not permanent.

Dasia so beautifully articulated that sentiment in her video where she speaks about roller skating in the sun in Amsterdam and how she embraced that moment and soaked in every little detail because she knew it wouldn’t last. She knew the happiness was not forever.

She then describes how she faced multiple hardships shortly after that moment. And she was able to keep going because she knew that that too was not permanent. She also had the beauty of that moment to hold onto.

I just really enjoy that outlook !!!

It’s so important for us to embrace the good so we can make it through the bad.

But yes, so I’ve had a nice weekend full of rest! Which is so important!!!

And now it is my BEDTIME so I will get even more rest 🙂

Love ya much !!! Nighhhht!